if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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