if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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