I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize