Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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