I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
