I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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