Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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