like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
