If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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