Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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