there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize