dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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