funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
