i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
