Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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