I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize