wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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