no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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