I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
