Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
