Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
