You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
