Non-Jews are for practice
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
