jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
