Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
