The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
