"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well I just put wine in my tea
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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