if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
