Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
