I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
