it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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