Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize