So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
