when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
