Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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