Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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