you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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