so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
