What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
