forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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