Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
