I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
