shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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