i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
