I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
