This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize