I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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