Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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