Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
