That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
