so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
