I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
