She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
