Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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