you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
soo... how was my night?
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