Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
