the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
