she looked like the bat from fern gully.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
