i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
