well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
