Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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