? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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