why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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