you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
