I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
