Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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