doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish you could order shots online.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
