your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
